I paint because...

Why do I paint and consider myself an artist? I have a job. This takes up a lot of my time and energy, earning me some money in to the bargain. That's not enough though, is it?

Work has always been my main protagonist. I like to work, but in my way and towards personal and meaningful results and fulfilment. Going to work and working for an employer has, particularly in recent times, drained my ambition, energy and motivation for life. I have in the past lost the reason of life; it's meaning and purpose. This has pushed me towards stress, ill health and sometimes despair. I'm generally good at what I do/am doing; anything I turn my hand to really. If left alone, I always achieve desired outcomes to my high standard. But that's not what working for an employer is about. It's about control, conformity, standardisation and grinding you down, amongst other institutionalising requirements.

As a result, I have difficulty keeping quiet, questioning the will and expectations of others, comparing my ethical stance against that which I am measured and expected to comply. I have been tagged a trouble maker and now is no exception. My work ethic is never reciprocated by others, in particular those that supervise and measure my efforts. Work is bad but a necessary evil to provide that means to an end. Money too is evil and immoral, creating disparities and false expectations, but that's another story. I am not a headless chicken.

My art drags me home giving reasons to leave work on time and not be dragged into the unpaid overtime I am not contracted for and the false expectation this creates. When I get home I am gainfully employed in creative and productive activities, avoiding boozing, watching television and spending money on the pursuit of leisure activities designed to combat the boredom of aimless free time. I do not need to escape and am more aware of myself and environments than some would like me to be.

Painting calms me. I can fully explore ideas and become absorbed in detail, single mindedly pursuing the results I require and demand. I can take my time and work at my pace to explore all possibilities and be the only influence and quality control of my efforts.

I am interested in art; processes, techniques, results, artists, their methods and lives. Whilst I have favoured artists of reference I don't rip them off. I bring elements of some in to my work and weave these ideas into my own fusion style.

I enjoy the challenge of coming up with new ideas to produce beautiful images as a reaction to the drabness and shadows life has become camouflaged by. Colour is everything. I use energy creating the right combinations, with varying degrees of success. I like unpredictability and new ways of creating the illusion that is abstraction.

My work, for me, is reactionary. I do not conform with rules and processes. I have always been a bit of a rebel, seeing things differently and questioning the norm. As I said before, I am a trouble maker. I don't have to do anything I don't want. If I decide to bend the rules, that's okay. I decide how to work, when to work, when to start, when to finish, what to paint, and so on.

I meet many like minded people through my art work. Some of the most thought provoking and searching discussions have come whilst selling or demonstrating my work. Many seem interested in the process and see opportunities to further share my work to help others. Colour and alternative therapists, clinical psychologists, tree lovers, genuine people. I am encouraged to continue and share more of me with the people who seem to like it. I appreciate all my patrons, especially those that come back for more.

I like what I do and what I paint. I love that I am surrounded by my legacy. These pieces brought me peace and joy (and stress and turmoil) whilst making them so why should I want to part with them? I love the thought that I could do it all of the time if I could just shake that fear and reconcile the economic turmoil self employment can produce. I know, I have tried it and had to go back to work to allow sleep at night. Oh the swings and roundabouts. The time will come, but not quite yet.

Finally, there is the economic motivator; my art makes me money; some money but not yet enough. This is important but sometimes quite difficult to reconcile. However, my mission statement includes ensuring my work is priced to sell, making it accessible to all, should they want to participate in my adventure. Thanks to everyone who has bought (and collect) my work. Commissions and reproductions alike. You make it easier for me to continue and will help me make that break for freedom when the time is right.

This is why I paint. I'm sure you understand. I may need to add to this at a later date.